“I love you.”
Right now I’m not sure if I do anymore, but I say it anyway because it’s all that I am. I can’t remember what you look like very clearly, or even recall the sound of your voice. I’m not the same person you left and you’re not the same person I love. I love you in a way that you’re my whole world yet I would rather not feel like that ever again.
But I know I love you because that’s the only reality I’ve known. I know I love you because I can’t love anything else. I know I love you because you’re my whole life, even if you’re not in it.
I know that I love you.
I find it comforting to hold on to this fading emotion because I know what it feels like and who isn’t a sucker for familiarity?
*picture credit I’m not really sure about, it’s just a picture I found in my archives. All credits go to the original photographer, not me.
I don’t think he loves me.
“Then why do you let him touch you?”
Because if he doesn’t now, maybe then he will.
Maybe one day, we’ll stop. Maybe on day, we’ll finally be happy. Maybe one day, we’ll be just a little selfish. One day, we’ll be bad.
One day, we’ll stop crossing oceans for the people who wouldn’t even jump in a puddle with us. Maybe one day, something good will come our way. Maybe one day, we’ll be appreciated. Maybe one day, someone won’t take us for granted. Maybe one day, someone will put us first, even before themselves. Maybe one day, being good all this time will pay off. Hope. Hope that there’s still good left. Hope, beyond all reasons not to.
Maybe that day will come soon. Maybe it won’t. Doesn’t it scare you? To know that things might never change? Doesn’t it send a shock in your spine to think that there’s nothing better coming your way? Still, we hope.
Because as the little speck of dust in the galaxy, that’s all we can do.