Bro, Let me tell you how fucking crazy life has been these past couple of months.
Okay, maybe not really crazy but crazy in my head.
A little bit of of both, We’ll compromise.
I am in love. I am so in love it’s not even funny.
I have been in love, before. But now, after five fucking years of crying my heart out I’m not so sure that I was. If you would have asked me in February I would have said that I would never be able to move on from that, but now in April I feel like I’m…cleansed?
I don’t know how to explain it. There’s this person who literally feels like sunshine. A person who just makes me feel calm and fucking listens to me no matter what.
I told him the bad things I’d done and it felt like a weight has been lifted off my body. The sadness in my chest doesn’t exist around him.
This is love, I know it. Its familiar but it’s different.
I have no expectations from him. There’s almost no chance that something is going to come out of this. In fact, I’m sure he does not feel the same way. And that’s fine with me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m good with unrequited love.
I will also pepper in the fact that this…whatever we have between us is so precious to me that I don’t even feel like telling anyone about it. I have like 3 friends and I tell them everything. In fact where boys are concerned, I tell my mom everything. But this? This is mine and I’m not willing to let the world taint it.
I really just want the best for him, man. Like genuinely he deserves eveything good that this world has to offer. He works so hard and he’s been through so much, I just want peace and contentment and happiness in his life. Even if I’m not a part of it.
I don’t want want to ruin this one good thing that has happened to me after so long.
I don’t need to say those words to him.
I don’t need him to feel the same about me
I’m so grateful for what I have, I don’t even care about what I might never have.