Monthly Archives: December 2016

No quitting. 

Yeah, this isn’t about “Not to give up on hope” kind of post. I gave up on hope a year ago.

This is about smoking. Let me take you back 2 years. I absolutely loathed smokers. I thought it was a nasty habit with absolutely no plus sides. I didn’t understand why anyone would want to inhale tobacco smoke. I’ve had major fights about this with people. I’ve done lame shit lime make people swear on my head that they’d never smoke again. If that were the case I would’ve been beheaded a thousand times. 

Now, I’m here typing this after smoking 5 of them myself. It started last new year. It was the first time I ever smoked and it was not pretty. My lungs burnt for 3 days. But then in May I smoked hash for the first time. It did absolutely nothing. It was a waste of money. But then I smoked another cigarette. That worked. 

I don’t admit this fact that I smoke. In fact not even a handful of  people know I do this. I’m kinda surprised my mom hasn’t found out yet. I don’t even chew a gum after I smoke. 

I’ve tried quitting but I don’t really have any reason to do so. I don’t want to live long. I’m not worried about some kind of cancer, either. It doesn’t even smell after 10 minutes so there goes my worry about smelling bad. Well, I will admit it is a little expensive, because I don’t work anymore. But I manage that part. 

I’ve been doing my best to lie as little as possible since almost two years now. But if asked about this, I’ll straight out deny it. I don’t care if they saw me firsthand smoking outside of The Nest (which is the only place where I smoke apart from my roof) I’ll deny it.

Most of all, I’m allowed to have bad habit. At least I’m not snorting cocaine before my morning coffee. I can have one guilty indulgence. 

So anyone who called me a hypocrite, you were right.


You can go suck it.


The “Y” crap.

I swear to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit that I am in no way generalizing all men based solely on my personal experience.

Right now, to me, the “Y” chromosome sucks ass. I don’t know a single man at whom I’m not majorly pissed off. If I may paraphrase Sheldon Lee Cooper, “One day they’re going to find out that the ‘Y’ chromosome is full of nothing but nonsense and twaddle.”

It all started when Diksha decided that I needed to get back out there in the ‘Dating game’ about 6 months ago. I was reluctant because, and I can’t put emphasis on it enough, I DID NOT WANT TO. I was done with this dating nonsense about a year and half ago. Not to sound like a total pathetic loser, but I didn’t want to start dating someone while I was still pathetically in love with someone else. She convinced me by saying that it doesn’t mean that I’m directly jumping into someone’s bed or a serious relationship. I could make it about just hanging out. 

It’s not fun trying to meet new people just so you don’t feel empty anymore. I wasn’t lonely or anything, I was just kinda sorta pathetic. But even when I’m pathetic it’s not like my self esteem will fall down. I went out with four guys in one week back in May. And what a parade of idiots that was. Without exception, all four of them decided to meet up at some or the other expensive-as-all-fuck-without-any-good-reason restaurants. Yes, all of them were appealing to the eyes but as soon as their mouths opened….massive verbal diarrhea. At that time I had a job, right? For some reason all of them couldn’t comprehend the reason why I worked Because I fucking wanted to! And when it was time to pay, they’d all flip their cards out. I don’t let anyone pay for me, because it’s not their own money, is it?  It’s their dad’s. Whereas I have my own money. Yes, I am proud of it. Sue me. It’s a rule. If anyone goes out with me, I’m paying. It’s not some feminazi crap. It’s about pride. 

Then this fifth guy was pretty cool. Funny, academically successful, and what you’d consider a “gentleman”. He was white,despite being born and raised in India. It was fun hanging out with him before he started to point out the fact that my being a non-vegan was offensive to him. Also, he was a communal piece of shit. 

Then one by one, every man that I know pissed me off. I’m not even discriminating with family. When I say that I hate every man in my life, it does include family. 

I don’t get it, man. Like why? Did everyone have a collective meeting where they decided that it’s time to piss Niddhi off? 

It can’t be a coincidence that for the past month everyone that has pissed me off is a man, can it?