Monthly Archives: November 2016

Idiot

I have a lot of weird friends, okay? In fact all of them are weird. There’s no such thing as a normal human being. 

Keeping that in mind, know what when I say I’ve known all kinds of people, I know what I’m talking about. They’re not all my friends, of course but they’re people I’ve known. This includes male chauvinists, feminazis, misogynists, cheaters, douchebags, racists, brats, privileged sons, overcompensated daughters, social workers, and one was even a male sex worker. 

But never have I ever met a man so closed off to other people’s opinions than the one I met yesterday. In all fairness, it wasn’t the first time I met or talked with him. We were what you call it…dating? Actually, no. Dating would imply that there were romantic feelings involved. All sorts of other feelings were involved but romantic ones were sure as hell not one of them.

He’s accomplished in academic senses. He’s about to become a CA. He’s doing his MBA from one of the best universities in India. He’s funny in a dry humour kinda way. I did notice over the last few months that he’s a bit stubborn when it comes to his opinions but I thought as long as he doesn’t offend me or anyone I care about, why should I care?

Yesterday  that sumbitch crossed all lines, and all of them one after the other. I’m not a vegetarian. He didn’t like that. He gave me all sorts of lectures about how “meat is murder” and “animals have feelings” and shit like that. Yeah sure, of course the hamster who ate all her babies has deep feelings of regret towards her actions. I told him about evolution and how the only reason we grew to be the higher species was because we hunted other animals for our supplies. It didn’t work. If it were upto him, we’d all have died before we ever became homo erectus. 

Then through the topic of hating non vegans, he just downright stated that he hates Islam. I was done, then. He knows nothing about Islam, hasn’t read the Quran, doesn’t know the reason behind their goat sacrifice, hasn’t even had a Muslim friend in his life, and he has the audacity to say that he hates Islam. According to him terrorism would be wiped out if Islam ceased to exist. 

Isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard in your life?

I’m not a Muslim. I’m no expert on Islam, either. But you know what? I’m not stupid enough to say that I hate something without knowing anything about it. I hate something after having tried it or at least knowing as much as I can about it. In order to hate something, you first must’ve loved it. I don’t think that I need to explain to anyone here that Islam and terrorism aren’t synonymous to each other, do I? Good. 

I took it to heart because some of the best people I’ve known in my life are Muslims. They’re kind, sophisticated, and even they condemn terrorism. Saying that you hate all Muslims because of something a particular group of people does is so fucking dumb. Terrorists are people who happen to be Muslims. Nowhere does the Quran say all the things that terrorism preaches. You know what it does say? It teaches peace. It teaches equality. It condemns materialistic behaviour. If there is war, the Quran says that you cannot hurt women, children, cattle, and crops. 

It’s not just about Islam. I respect all religions and I’ll defend all of them the same way. I know sometimes what religion says doesn’t make sense, but then again, why not focus on the good things it teaches us? Why bash someone else’s faith? 

I understand that people have their opinions, and they have a right to form them as they please. Let’s take ne for example. I don’t like it when someone drinks in front of me. It makes me very uncomfortable. But still because I have friends who drink, I don’t tell them they can’t do something just because I have a problem with it. They don’t force me to drink. They don’t get trashed and create a scene. Everyone goes home happy. 

You can choose to be a vegetarian. You can choose to eat meat. You’re free to do whatever you want. What you’re not allowed to do is force your believes on anyone else. Making someone see your side is different than dragging them to your side by the hair. Don’t do the latter. Be a dope human and just…don’t.

And as far that dude is concerned, he plays the fucking violin. What does he think violin strings are made out of? Fairy hair? His shaving gel, the lotion, the shampoo, the whatever it is that comes under mens’ cosmetics… They’re all tested on animals. Talk about double standards. Needless to say, that particular peice of communal shit isn’t a part of my life anymore.

Idiot.

Cruel trick of mind: 2

​I’ve had my share of bizarre dreams, okay? It seldom ever happens that something which my mind dreamt has left me distraught for days without an end. The first time it ever happened was in 2013. I dreamt that my grandfather is back to life. He even had a scientific explanation for it. Christ, did that dream hurt like a bitch when I woke up.

This time, I had the best conversation of my life. I swear to almighty God, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to make that be real. It was just so simple. We were talking on the phone, being balls-out honest, and I said everything I had bottled up in me for the past year. 

It was just so real. I’m usually aware that I’m dreaming. I’m in the dream but I know it’s all over the minute I open my eyes. Not this time, though. You know how when you’re talking on the phone there are several little disturbances like someone calling your name, or a text message alert…even that was on point. 

Then what hurts most is the voice. I’d never heard something so clear in my life. It was like I could touch it if I wanted to, and I really, really wanted to. As pathetic as it sounds, a conversation that only happened in my mind is enough to drive me for months.

Imagine my devastation when I woke up. More than that, imagine how pissed I was at myself, because I’ve spent a major part of the past year trying not to think about that particular thing. I’ve done everything, I mean everything one can do to get over such things. From psychological books to Cosmo magazine; I’ve done it all. It wasn’t even on my mind the night before this godforsaken dream appeared. 

It’s like all my progress has been brought back to square one. All I want to do is roll up in a ball and never get out of my bed.

Bottom line? I had the best conversation of my life, in my dreams, with a man I can’t call anymore. It sucks ass.

*Picture by Sanjana Dawani. Check out her pages on Facebook and Instagram