Awkward: pt 2

I think it’s time that you give up on the hope that I’ll ever write something with a good title. Okay just stop expecting that out of me.
The past week has been… Well,awkward of course. Just because I’m bad at titles doesn’t mean I completely tc go in the other direction.
I got into some trouble at my second job and almost got fired by my senior, who is kind of a dick and has absolutely no authority to fire me. Then before that a package that was deeply awaited by me had arrived, but unfortunately I wasn’t home at that time so it was received by my father and let’s just say he must’ve gravely regretted opening it. Then I was talking to my only friend from college, and because I was alone at that time I had on speaker. To be honest, I should’ve known that it was a mistake. She’s not the kind of person you put on speaker. Ever. So the following conversation took place one morning at 5 because I was getting ready for work and she’s a weirdo who wakes up at that time without any reason.
(It took place in Hindi and was actually a lot worse than I’ve portrayed it)
Navjot: And then I got on top and Joza was like completely screaming like a girl because he can’t do it like I can even in his dreams.
Me: *Laughing like a seagull*
Navjot: And then he wanted me to bend over. I mean I’m all up for it but it’s like he thinks his is he is big enough to do that. After trying a lot I told him,”Baby, I don’t think you’ll be able to do this.”
Me: *Literally falls over the bed laughing.* Why would you say that to him?
Navjot: He was embarrassing himself trying to hit it as if he actually could I mean it was getting kinda boring just having him smacking against me.
At that very moment I heard my sister cough some water right outside my door. That was when I realised that she’d been awake this whole time. She looked at me with sheer horror, all while Navjot was still describing her acts in explicit details. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to be horrified or what.
Me: Navjot, shut up. Iraa is awake.
Navjot: Well, good. Now she knows what all can be done when you have limited resources and no coconut oil.
*Hangs up*
Sister: You didn’t go to office yet?
Me: My cab is about to come. Why are you awake so early?
Sister: Studying. My boards are coming up. By the way, do I want to know why she needed to degrade her boyfriend like that?
Me: Probably not.
Now, trust me. This wasn’t the most awkward thing to happen all week. This was just embarrassing. Now the awkward thing happened yesterday.
I was in my room with detanner all over my hands and legs. Now that stuff burns, okay? It works but it really really burns in the process. Now my dad knocked on my door.
Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Stuff. What do yo want?
Dad: Do you have change for a thousand?
Me: Yeah, wait a minute.
I opened the door and hopped on the bed again. The detanner was really starting to sting now.
Me: It’s in my black and white purse.
Now that was I stood still. I shouldn’t have done that. I really just shouldn’t have done that. I froze in my place as my dad looked into my purse. He pulled something else out and stared at me. No, it wasn’t some girl thing that he’d gotten hold of. He just stared at me.
Now I had perfect excuse for why I had them. They weren’t mine. They weren’t being used by me. They just happened to be there with me because I was holding onto them for a friend.
My father cleared his throat, pulled a cigarette out of the pack, took the lighter with him and just walked out of the room.
I know, right?


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