Grown up!

It’s done. After 14 years of school life, it’s over. Last night, it was the end of school for me, as well as the other 12th grade students. Here’s the thing. I’ve been in the same school all my life. From kindergarten to senior year. The school and me have grown together. I remember the days when there was not a lot in my school. Gradually the school grew, and I grew with it. It’s been way, way too long for me in that school. It’s not like I love my school because I’m the center of attraction, or popular or stuff like that. I’m as good as a ghost in my school. 

I live in a pretty small city, and all I ever want is to get out of here and make something of myself. I always thought leaving school would be easy. I never thought that leaving school would actually make me…sad, and leaving teachers would make me cry. It’s all sappy and dumb, I know. I thought the same thing until a day ago, and I still do. It was an in-the-moment thing. Looking back, it all seems so stupid. We graduated. We’re no longer in High School. No matter what the result of boards is, all of us are going to be in college in August. It seems so unrealistic. Who knows where each of us is going to end up? I know I’m not grown up enough to go to college. It freaks me out to have to do anything by myself. 

College? It’s so scary! New campus, new people, new city, new everything. Yes, it seems like a great opportunity to start fresh. College is like a clean slate. But with me, I’m going to need something or someone to remind me where I come from, but also support me in going where I want to be. I know, I can’t have it all and these insecurities are going to go away on their own.

But leaving school seems like such a great big step. This is it! It’s done. All the things which have gone are never coming back again. In our school, all us girls are called Queens. (A bit cheesy, I know).

Today, I’m not a Queen anymore. I’m an Ex-Queen, and this is the change I wasn’t ready for.



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