Monthly Archives: October 2013

Limits of hatred..

I don’t get along with anyone very well. There comes a point when I’m just genuinely not interested in what they have to say. This happens often, but not always. There are some people I could listen to all day long. My former class teacher, and current class teacher, a former principal and a few more people are one of them. They actually give you that kind of vibe that makes you think that yes, you’re learning something. This is not a waste of time. But, the chances to hear them talk come rarely.

The people who do speak often, are A-class jerks. I’m not even going to tone it down. There is a limit to which I can tolerate someone insulting someone else. Someone insulting me a whole different level of wrath. If I hate someone, there will be limit up to which I’ll hate them. I’ll hate them, up to the level where it doesn’t start affecting them. If my hatred starts demotivating someone, then shame on me. I’ve one some pretty bad things in life, but I haven’t been the reason someone felt demotivated. I never wished demotivation upon someone. In fact, if I hate someone, I try to avoid them at all times. There’s the end of my hatred.

Today, someone took hatred on a whole new level. Competition burned to the limit of rage and I was embarrassed to be present at the time it took place. It was heartbreaking to see the person it was intended to. She was almost in tears and it broke her. I could see how shattered she was from destroyed. One indirect public comment shook her soul. It wasn’t a bearable sight. If the words which weren’t intended to me made me feel this bad, I can’t even imagine the situation to whom it was intended. I was so ashamed. I watched a person be insulted publicly, and yet I did nothing. I felt so helpless, mad, and frustrated. I wanted to yell out of my lungs in front of every school in the city present, ‘She might be a bitch, but she’s a human. She doesn’t deserve this!’ Instead, I did nothing. I just sat there, wishing my parents had admitted me in some other school.

From now on, I have decided. In school, I own’t become one of those competitive bitches. I just have my own self to look out for and I don’t give a damn about anyone else’s marks. It’s just me. 

I’m all alone in this.

I can’t expect anyone else to be there for me, because expectations are the root of sadness.

I don’t know if I can do this alone, but I do know that I’ll never be able to if I don’t try.

I don’t want to hate anymore and I don’t want to love either.

I just want to be in my own damn bubble, where no one and nothing can hurt me.