A year ago, if anyone would have ever asked me if I were a Lord of the Rings nerd, I would’ve punched them in their faces. I mean, I liked the movies, the animations and effects were great. I LOVED the guy who played Frodo. But being insane about that movie? Nah! Wasn’t exactly my scene. In fact, after watching every Lord of the Rings movie, including The Hobbit, I kinda got tired of it. It was the same thing again and again.
Then I saw a tattoo on a friend’s hand. I couldn’t understand what was written, but I knew that the guy had gone over his way with the whole ‘Elvish’ thing. I asked him if it was permanent, or just one of those fake tattoos which wash off after a few months. He told me that it was on his skin forever. I was like, “Yeah, right. Tell me when you’re over it and want to get it removed.” Knowing different kinds of doctors is kind of my area of expertise. He assured me that this ‘Thing’ that he’d carved on his body was going to mean the same to him for the rest of his life. (Like I hadn’t heard that one before.)
Then, a friend gave me The Fellowship of the Ring to read. I was reluctant to read, but then, I’ll read next to anything as long as its a hard-copy and not an e-book. The first book started to wave its wand and slowly cast me into its spell. I didn’t put the first book down until I was done with it. I started in the morning, and finished it by midnight. Then, I went to my friend and asked if he had the second one. He didn’t have the rest. At that moment, I wanted to punch his face. Who owns only one book of a series this incredible? Huh. I was yelling in my head, “Why did you give me the first when you didn’t have the rest?!”
I wanted it really bad. I couldn’t find the second book for the next two days. Obviously, the girls didn’t have it. Then I searched it online. I didn’t care if it was a soft-copy. I had to read it otherwise I would never find my salvation. By the grace of Internet, I found a soft-copy. I downloaded all the three volumes including number two and three; The Two Towers and The Return of The King. Then, I finished them both in three days. After putting the third book down, I almost cried. It was like finishing Harry Potter series all over again! It felt like, “Why? Why did you have to end?”
Then, my ex-best friend told me she had The Hobbit. It was like finding someone you thought was dead. There was one book yet to be finished! I was over the moon! She stole it from her brother and gave it to me. I loved her too much for that moment. That book also blew my mind away. This was where it all started. This was where Bilbo Baggins found the ring! I loved, loved, loved it!
During my phase of depression, I used to do nothing but lay in bed and think about how screwed I was. How I’d lost everything that I loved more than my life. All I could think of was how broken and lost I was. My head used to wander around the books I’d read, Harry Potter was a big help. It used to make me smile, laugh, cry and learn the lessons of bravery, friendship and courage. Few of the lines which inspired me are:
“It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live- Albus Dumbledore.”
“It’s our choices, Harry, that show us who we really are, far more than our abilities.”
In the Lord of The Rings series, there was this one quote which was stuck in my head. It was reading itself on loop. Again and again. It was constantly saying, “Not all those who wander are lost.” These words made me think that maybe I’m not lost. That maybe, there’s still hope for me. Maybe, I’m going to get through this and not get sucked into the dark hole. The books also told me, “Moonlight drowns all but the brightest stars.” It was then when I decided that just because this thing was a lot bigger than I was, it did not mean that it would win. It could blind me with it’s shine. It could show-off its power over me, but it would never actually hold anything over me. Ever.
Two weeks ago, another one of my friends got a tattoo related to Lord of The Rings on his back. This one was a lot more big than the last one I’d seen on my other friend. In fact, I liked this one better. Though, it did freak his girlfriend out a little, she decided that it was best to ignore the fact that there was a big drawing on her boyfriend’s back. She told me, “Don’t you think it’s a little too big?”
“Yeah, it kinda is. But I think it’s awesome!” I replied.
She laughed. “How in god’s name are you a girl?”
“Trust me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for the last seventeen years.” I had nothing else to say in my defense. I love the books, I love the depth, and I sure as hell love this tattoo.
It might be a little lame to say, but this obsession with Harry Potter Series and The Lord of The Rings Trilogy saved me from being sucked into the darkness. Someone wise said aptly, “When everyone leaves, your knowledge from books stay with you.” I now know the role of books. They are for us to read. They are just laid out there, to make out what we think of them. To learn from them, to make mistakes from them. Well of course, the meaning of something differs from person to person. I think that’s the beauty of it. Anyone can make whatever they think of it. These aren’t set in stone. They’re flexible and that’s what I love the most about books. Books never betray. Books never complain. They’re always there for you, to be what you want them to be.
So people, in my humble opinion, trust books more than you trust people.