Helpless

I’ve got a mouth ulcer since last two days. Gross? I know! Apparently, while I had excruciating pain in my back due to an old injury, I took a lot of medication and this damn thing on my tongue is a side effect.

Well, it’s effect is so powerful, that I haven’t spoken in last two days. Not a single word. I’m living on juices and banana. I can’t move my tongue. For some mysterious reasons, now my teeth hurt, too.

I have forgotten what its like to speak. I can’t even remember the last sentence I spoke. Normally, I don’t speak a lot. But that’s by choice, and not by circumstances. There’s a difference. My power of speech has been taken away from me temporarily. I feel for all the people who can’t speak, not because of side-effects, but because they just…can’t.

I cried a lot today. I got into a fight, without actually saying anything. I slapped my bestfriend because according to me he’s suppose to understand what I’m saying without actually saying it. Now, I have an angry best friend, an ulcer in my mouth, an ever-growling stomach and an opportunity foregone  to deliver a speech.

I so badly wanted to speak today. I was writing down everything I wanted to say. It made me feel so…dependent, weak and helpless. This feeling is alien to me. I’ve never been dependent on other people. I’ve always made my point when I wanted to. Today, I couldn’t.

I just cried until my tears gave out. I realized that there’s nothing more I can do other than apply some godforsaken ointment on my tongue and then wait for the ulcer to go away.

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7 thoughts on “Helpless

  1. Sounds a little more serious if it has morphed into your teeth and they are aching too 😦 Perhaps another visit to the doctor?

    Praying you get well soon eh!

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